Ratchet Madness 2025 Round 1: Blue Paint Region

 

 

 

Voting is completed in round 1 of the Ham Sandwich Region and the following 8 ratchets have advanced to the second round.

Auntie Bev and Proctor are looking strong. Are we in line for an epic Elite 8 matchup? We’ll find out soon. Meanwhile, Helena Rafferty and Natalie the German snuck by in nail-biters. Every vote counts in Ratchet Madness!

Onto the the final first round matchups in the Blue Paint Region. You have 24 hours to vote for the next 8 ratchets who should advance to the field of 32.

 

 

1. Hank Brennan vs. 16. Sarah Levinson

1. Hank Brennan – Stole more than half a million dollars from the taxpayers and convinced 9 less people than Adam Lally did that John O’Keefe was hit by a car, single handedly ruined his own case by coming across like a douchebag and getting caught lying to the jury, constantly whined and cried about ARCCA, Karen Read’s facial expressions, and defense attorneys being mean to him

16. Sarah Levinson – sounds and looks like an elephant, has no familial ties to the Albert family yet is covering up a murder for them just to be socially accepted in Canton

 

 

 

8. Tristin Morris vs. 9. Katie McLaughlin

8. Tristin Morris – shit on his fiance on the stand who for some reason made him wake up in the middle of the night and give her a ride home in a blizzard, lied about never knowing what time anything was, tried to start a fight with Turtleboy at Castle Island while swearing in front of children, tried to get Dave Portnoy to give him a free watch to wear on the stand in trial he never testified in,

9. Katie McLaughlin – pathological liar who seeks social acceptance in Canton by framing innocent people for murder, lying about things she heard Karen Read say at the scene, and pretending not to be close personal friends with Tristin’s pain in the ass wife

 

 

 

4. Brian Tully vs. 13. Kerry Lama

4. Brian Tully – Has his dirty fingers in EVERYTHING, architect of the fraudulent witness intimidation charges against Turtleboy, uses Krusty Panties, Natalie, and Fake Victim as primary CI’s, claims to wear shorts in subzero temperatures, has no interest looking into Ford Edges parked next to dead cops

13. Kerry Lama – spends every waking moment of the day online doing PR work for the McCabes on Twitter, claims that Matt McCabe cannot cover up a murder because he drinks coffee with the garbageman once a week, likes to stalk FKR supporters doing standouts by creepily sitting in her car with Jen McCabe

 

 

 

5. Paul O’Keefe vs. 12. Julie Grant

5. Paul O’Keefe – uses his brother’s murder trial to secretly message Internet mistresses in New Jersey who he sends cringe bathroom selfies and glazed donut fantasies to, invited the Fake Victim with him to his brother’s murder trial to kick Turtleboy out of court, nearly killed an elderly man drinking and driving in broad daylight but casts judgment on Karen Read for DUI while hitting nobody, mother and wife clearly hate him, brought brother’s murderers to sit with him in court

12. Julie Grant – paid propagandist for the Commonwealth who routinely spews misinformation about Karen Read on low rated Court TV program, OD’s on botox, pretends to care about victims but really just covers for the people who murdered John O’Keefe, invited Krusty Panties, Plevin, Phelpsy, Fake Victim and countless other morons on her shaw as “experts”

 

 

 

3. Chris Albert vs. 14. Courtney Proctor

3. Chris Albert – once killed a man in 1994, says he’s scared and intimidated by people who do mime shows outside his empty mediocre pizza shop, acts like a hardo but constantly cries to the police that he is a victim, wife cheated on him with Canton cop who he now kisses the ass of, complete deadbeat who never pays his bills and has dozens of court judgments and tax liens against him

14. Courtney Proctor – attempted failed PR tour in defense of scumbag brother following Trial 1, said in a text message that she hopes Karen Read kills herself to prevent a trial in which her brother would be exposed as a corrupt cop and all around garbage human being

 

 

 

6. Matt McCabe vs. 11. Michael Lank

6. Matt McCabe – advised Chris Albert to say the guy (John O’Keefe) never came in the house even though there was no reason for that to be clarified, refers to homes based on the ethnicity of those who reside there, constantly loses weight loss competitions, says he didn’t see a 6’2″, 220 pound body lying directly in front of him because he stares straight ahead and is unable to see anything at his 1 o’clock

11. Michael Lank – corrupt Canton cop who has made a career covering up for his friends in the Albert family including Tim, Chris, and Brian, hung out with Jennifer McCabe the day after John O’Keefe was murdered and never revealed this, didn’t think a dead cop with one shoe on someone’s front lawn was good enough reason to search the inside of the house

 

 

 

7. Note my Objection vs. 10. The Dugals

7. Note my Objection – nepo baby junkie who finally got clean and suddenly got job working for Daddy’s law firm, spews the most retarded things constantly on Tik Tok with intentionally overdone Boston accent, seeks out media spotlight whenever possible because she’s addicted to the sound of her own voice, says Karen Read is guilty due to comments she made on Dateline

10. The Dugals – believe Karen Read is guilty based solely on Karen not returning their text messages and checking in on them on the day Karen experienced serious trauma and found her dead boyfriend murdered on Brian Albert’s lawn, make fake accounts on Twitter and then get caught by not cropping out driver’s license in photo roll, banned from first trial for assaulting Karen Read in hallway

 

 

 

 

2. Fake Victim vs. 15. John Jackson

2. Fake Victim – lost custody of 4 kids due to psychotic behavior and substance abuse, faked a pregnancy and 2 abortions of Sweet Baby Clay in real driveway, woke kids up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve to prevent guy she was casually seeing from leaving her apartment, constantly threatens to kill herself when she doesn’t get her way, got sued for lying about being raped, lied and sent TB to jail because he didn’t wanna see her anymore

15. John Jackson – constantly seeks out media attention to speak for O’Keefe family and then proceeds to say absolutely nothing, says he was good friends with John O’Keefe but never met his live in girlfriend of 2 years