Ratchet Madness 2025 Elite 8
It’s time to start making the toughest choices of our lives, as we must now narrow down the Elite 8 to a Final 4 in Ratchet Madness 2025. You have 24 hours to vote for which of these ratchets should advance.
1. Jennifer McCabe vs. 2. Michael Morrissey
1. Jennifer McCabe – Googled “hos long to die in cold at 2:27 and deleted it, started a support group for victim’s mother, lied to FBI while claiming to be normal Mom
2. Michael Morrissey – Chose to prosecute an obviously innocent woman and unintentionally made himself the face of corruption to the world, made a hostage video defending murderers, got caught using a burner email, begged for $1 million from state legislature to continue doomed persecution of Karen Read
1. Krusty Panties vs. 2. Brian Higgins
1. Krusty Panties – had her kids taken by the State but lectures FKR about being bad parents, convicted criminal still facing multiple charges, eats, breathes, and sleeps Turtleboy 24/7
2. Brian Higgins – decorated dude who calls into random YouTube shows pretending to be Kevin from South Boston in order to defend his honor, couldn’t seal the deal with a woman who was throwing herself at him, helped cover up his involvement in the murder of John O’Keefe by lying about butt dials and acting shady at Canton Police Department at 1:30 AM
1. Michael Proctor vs. 3. Auntie Bev
1. Michael Proctor – covered up the murder of a cop, was forced to read humiliating messages that made him look like a douchebag on national television, got fired and forced to wear ridiculous sunglasses to court
3. Auntie Bev – redefined the word “cunt” on national television every day, couldn’t even attempt to hide her bias and disdain for Karen Read defense team, doesn’t like working past 3 and has grave concerns about things that don’t matter while giving zero fucks about things that do matter
4. Brian Tully vs. 2. Fake Victim
4. Brian Tully – Has his dirty fingers in EVERYTHING, architect of the fraudulent witness intimidation charges against Turtleboy, uses Krusty Panties, Natalie, and Fake Victim as primary CI’s, claims to wear shorts in subzero temperatures, has no interest looking into Ford Edges parked next to dead cops
2. Fake Victim – lost custody of 4 kids due to psychotic behavior and substance abuse, faked a pregnancy and 2 abortions of Sweet Baby Clay in real driveway, woke kids up in the middle of the night on Christmas Eve to prevent guy she was casually seeing from leaving her apartment, constantly threatens to kill herself when she doesn’t get her way, got sued for lying about being raped, lied and sent TB to jail because he didn’t wanna see her anymore
