This is Andrew Gray, a union painter from Attleboro and Pawtucket.
For the last month he’s been pulling a Travis Palermo and sending a strange woman he doesn’t know dick pics, which she was not aware of until she recently looked through her filtered messages. According to the woman, who lives at least 30 minutes from him, he started sending her full blown dick pics in November. He has since deleted those after she freaked out and blocked him, but his other messages are still there. It began with a “morning sexy,” but got no reply. Naturally then he figured the best course of action that would lead to push-push was a tub selfie with his eyes closed.
Because sometimes you have to warm up the oven first, and leading with “here’s my dick” can come off a little too strong.
The dick pics and the artistic tub picture ultimately did not lead to the panty raid that the Pawtucket Poontang Punisher was hoping for, so he elected to have someone take a picture of him in boxer shorts with a fully erect flesh flute and see if that got her to accept his message request. Unfortunately for him we were distracted by the rotted out drop ceiling panel that for some reason exists in his bedroom, so it was hard for the viewer to focus on his jolly stick.
Because what kind of woman wouldn’t jump at the chance to ride bootleg Zangief while getting a facial full of asbestos?
When that didn’t go the way he hoped it would he went with an artistic morning coffee pose, while asking her “how u been.”
Pro tip – asking someone “how you been” only works when you’ve spoken to that person before. Sending a woman you’ve never met unsolicited images of your love plunger, that she didn’t see or respond to, does not mean you have an established relationship with them. There is no reason to ask her “how you been,” since you have no idea how she’s ever been. This will not make you sound any less creepy. Neither will your Google trophies.
I’m guessing that this is the closest he’s gotten to contact with pussy in quite some time.
To be clear, there is a difference between solicited and unsolicited dick pics. The former is a standard part of the modern day digital courtship process, and the latter is sexual harassment. One will get you laid (because you probably already have with the person you’re sending it to), the other will get you on Turtleboy.
Anyway, I have no idea what dudes like this are thinking. I can’t imagine this brand of courtship has ever effectively lead to a woman taking him up on his offer. Yet they keep trying it. I guess I blame porn. Too many guys have seen porns where this strategy yields explosive, yet happy endings, and they seem to forget that the women in those videos are psychologically damaged whores doing what it takes to acquire cocaine.