Canton Ratchet Madness 2024 Elite 8


Voting is completed in the Whole Internet Region of Ratchet Madness and we have our first major upset of the tournament.

I can’t believe Jill Daniels is eliminated. I thought for sure she was going all the way, but it looks like Higgins butt dialing helped push him into the Elite 8.

Now it’s time to choose the Final Four. You have 24 hours to decide who should advance.


1. Jennifer McCabe vs. 2. Brian Albert

1. Jennifer McCabe – Googled “hos long to die in cold” to make sure John O’Keefe was dead then started a support group for his mother

2. Brian Albert – Hardo Boston cop who never came out of house after being alerted about a dead Boston cop on his front lawn



1. Chris Albert vs. 3. Brian Tully

1. Chris Albert – Once killed a man, plethora of court judgments for nonpayment of bills and tax liens, enjoys getting cuckholded by wife and tongue lashed by middle aged women at meetings

3. Brian Tully – Corrupt State Police Lieutenant who covered for Michael Proctor and considers scored DCF single Moms to be valuable sources in case against Turtleboy



1. Colin Albert vs. 3. Michael Morrissey

1. Colin Albert – Is too stupid to realize that several people have put their careers and freedom on the line to protect him from being a murder suspect while he makes threatening Tik Toks

3. Michael Morrissey – Portly corrupt hack DA who is knowingly charging an innocent woman with murder while giving press releases filled with obvious provable lies about coverup.



1. Michael Proctor vs. 11. Brian Higgins

1. Michael Proctor – Corrupt cop who likes to plant tail light wherever he goes, intentionally misspell the names of witnesses in police reports, lie about his relationship with the McAlberts, and lie about what time he tows cars before blaming it on daylight savings and calling it a scrivener’s error.

11. Brian Higgins – ATF agent who clocked into work at 1:30 after drinking all day, claimed he went to sleep, then said he butt dialed Brian Albert at 2:22 AM while he was sleeping.




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