Canton Ratchet Madness 2024 Round 1: Red Solo Cup Region
Voting is now completed in the first round of Canton Ratchet Madness in the Tail Light Region. Here are the 9 ratchets who will be advancing to the next round:
No major upsets, and Horse Face won by the biggest margin of victory in the 8 year history of Ratchet Madness. She’s going to be tough to beat for sure!
Now onto the Red Solo Cup Region.
You have 24 hours to vote for which of these 8 ratchets should advance to Round 2.
1. Chris Albert vs. 16. Michelle Nalli
1. Chris Albert – Once killed a man, plethora of court judgments for nonpayment of bills and tax liens, enjoys getting cuckholded by wife and tongue lashed by middle aged women at meetings
16. Michelle Nalli – Cheesehog McAlbert supporter whose life goal was to marry an Albert but had to settle for a cat instead
8. John Fanning vs. 9. Tim Albert
8. John Fanning – Shady MSP Detective who helped coverup the Sandra Birchmore murder and actively covers for Michael Proctor while terrorizing random people for texting Colin Albert
9. Tim Albert – Biggest life accomplishment was once owning a pool, threatened to kill Karen
Read’s attorneys in Facebook post used in defense filings
4. Jennifer Coffindaffer vs. 13. Bob Galvin
4. Jennifer Coffindaffer – Disgraced FBI agent who regularly makes a fool of herself on national television defending cop killers
13. Bob Galvin – Jen McCabe’s loser brother in law who accosted female 20/20 producers outside of CF McCarthy’s
5. Auntie Bev vs. 12. Kimberly Fair
5. Auntie Bev – Most incompetent judge ever who clearly would rather be getting drunk than overseeing murder trial she insists on being a part of
12. Kimberly Fair – Batshit insane 53 year old cat lady who dedicates her life to ranting about Turtleboy on Twitter and has now taken up the cause of obvious cop killers
3. Brian Tully vs. 14. Joseph Warren
3. Brian Tully – Corrupt State Police Lieutenant who covered for Michael Proctor and considers scored DCF single Moms to be valuable sources in case against Turtleboy
14. Joseph Warren – Former Karen Read supporter who flipped to dark side because he wants to have sex with Natalie the German
6. Krusty Panties vs. 11. David Traub
6. Krusty Panties – DCF Mom who lost custody of kids and is obsessed with Turtleboy to the point where she inserted herself into story to defend cop killers but ended up catching her own witness intimidation charges instead
11. David Traub – Corrupt spokesman for Norfolk County DA’s Office who knows how to use burgers to get menopausal women to write favorably about his office
7. Matt McCabe vs. 10. Grandpa Eclipse
7. Matt McCabe – Inside 34 Fairview Road when John O’Keefe was murdered but not considered a suspect by anyone due to status as a massive va-jay-jay
10. Grandpa Eclipse – Defender of corrupt police departments who likes to stand in people’s faces awkwardly in parking lots while pretending to be a geriatric tough guy
2. Bukkake vs. 15. Sarah Levinson
2. Bukkake – Corrupt State Police Sergeant who covers up murders for his day job while fan girling Dave Pornoy and doing drunken strip teases at weddings on the weekends
15. Sarah Levinson – Nurse present inside 34 Fairview Road when John O’Keefe was murdered and is choosing to cover for cop killers to retain social status in Canton
Bukakke vs Levinson was the only tough one here.
Really? That seemed like an easy choice for me..Bukhenic.
Not tough at all bukkake hands down. Levinson maybe ratchet but too irrelevant to advance in the tournament
Omg same!
The tough one for me was Auntie Bev and Kim Fair. In the end I had to go with Dipshit Fair
I almost had to put on a pair of gloves to touch the little circle next to Krusty Panties. Dirty ho, disease infested cum dumpster.
She most likely smells like a planned parenthood dumpster.
Town pump!
HiHowAreYa – you are far to kind, I honestly cannot come up with anything that nice to say about KP
Sarah Levinson does not get enough hate. I would think with more pressure she would be most likely to crack. Turn up the heat on “Sara”
Exactly, she was fine with the murder as long as her name was kept out of it. She’s literally Nurse Ratchet. I wouldn’t let her treat my ailing dog, she should be forced to work in the morgue for the rest of her career. It’s too bad she wasn’t up against someone other than Bukkakkee but I still think she’s a cunt just like the rest of them.
“Say Moe ….. What do Bukkake and Grandpa Munster have in common??”
“They can both make out with their own nose”
“And I gotta ask again, Have you ever seen them in the same room?”
Nice
I’ve been visiting this site for years, and it never fails to impress me with its fresh perspectives and wealth of knowledge. The attention to detail and commitment to quality is evident. This is a true asset for anyone seeking to learn and grow.
I forgot about Levinson. What kind of nurse stands by to watch a beaten man, dragged out and left in the snow to die?? Imagine that evil ratchet bitch being your nurse. Who the fuck is employing her? What an evil fuckin POS!! THESE MOTHER FUCKERS SHOULD BURN!!!
Who’s Joseph Warren ?
Where does he fit in?
Missed that one. Can someone fill me in?
First time hearing a out him also he’s probably just there for a filler to make a full bracket
He is Antiquated Rogue on Twitter. Was Pro Karen with Natalie but switched up when she did
I ❤️ Voted, or something.
Good to get past the first round of Taillight with all picks so far. Red Solo cup had some crazy pairings and some surprise seeds. Bummer that Levinson was paired with Bukkakkee so he will advance, but it doesn’t make her any less of a cunt Nurse Ratchet that she is. She’s only suitable for work in the morgue.
Roast Beef Ronnie
Unknown . . .
minimum wage worker
from the mean streets of Canton
near the railroad tracks
About to become
Cinderella boy
Of Canton Ratchet Madness
And with tears in his eyes
He’ll be presented with
The Mediocre Chicken Parm Crown
By his mentor
Yuri Bukkakenik
Oh Wow. I think the final bracket in the first one will be Jen McCabe vs Brian Albert. That’s gonna be a Tough one for me.
I appreciate your insightful post. It was actually pretty fun. You seem to have reached a far more agreeable level now. But how can we continue to communicate?