Canton Ratchet Madness 2024 Round 2: Red Solo Cup Region


Voting is completed in Round 2 of the Tail Light Region and the following 4 ratchets have advanced to the Sweet 16 of Canton Ratchet Madness 2024.

Just 12 votes was the difference between Julie Albert and Adam Lally – by far the closest matchup we’ve had thus far. And they’re only gonna closer from here as the decisions get harder and harder.

Now it’s time to pick the next 4 ratchets from the Red Solo Cup Region. You have 24 hours to vote for which 4 ratchets should advance from this group.


1. Chris Albert vs. 8. John Fanning

1. Chris Albert – Once killed a man, plethora of court judgments for nonpayment of bills and tax liens, enjoys getting cuckholded by wife and tongue lashed by middle aged women at meetings

8. John Fanning – Shady MSP Detective who helped coverup the Sandra Birchmore murder and actively covers for Michael Proctor while terrorizing random people for texting Colin Albert


4. Jennifer Coffindaffer vs. 5. Auntie Bev

4. Jennifer Coffindaffer – Disgraced FBI agent who regularly makes a fool of herself on national television defending cop killers

5. Auntie Bev – Most incompetent judge ever who clearly would rather be getting drunk than overseeing murder trial she insists on being a part of



3. Brian Tully vs. 6. Krusty Panties

3. Brian Tully – Corrupt State Police Lieutenant who covered for Michael Proctor and considers scored DCF single Moms to be valuable sources in case against Turtleboy

6. Krusty Panties – DCF Mom who lost custody of kids and is obsessed with Turtleboy to the point where she inserted herself into story to defend cop killers but ended up catching her own witness intimidation charges instead



2. Bukkake vs. 7. Matt McCabe

2. Bukkake – Corrupt State Police Sergeant who covers up murders for his day job while fan girling Dave Pornoy and doing drunken strip teases at weddings on the weekends

7. Matt McCabe – Inside 34 Fairview Road  when John O’Keefe was murdered but not considered a suspect by anyone due to status as a massive va-jay-jay




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