Law and Order

Dracut Man Arrested For DUI At Elementary School For Revolutionary War Reenactment Is The Most Gentlemanly Drunk Of All Time


Dennis Cormier is a Dracut resident and an employee of Hands On History, who does historical reenactments for schoolchildren.

But the only thing he likes more than helping kids learn about history is cheap vodka and rental cars.

Wicked Local:

In fairness, what do you think they were doing at Valley Forge to keep warm? My man really wanted to give the kids a taste of what revolutionary times were like so he got white girl wasted and was ready to talk about killing some redcoats when a nosy teacher who couldn’t mind their own business had to play hero.

His big mistake was asking the teachers for help. Bruh, how drunk were you that you forgot that your car was filled with open containers? And maybe next time you get plastered before visiting kids at an elementary school you should consider investing in a breath ming.

After the cops go there things got more hilarious:

When Neeley asked Cormier if he had anything to drink, Cormier told him he only had coffee, according to a police report. Neeley then observed Comier put his hand into the right pocket of his vest, the report states. When the officer asked him to remove his hand, Neeley reached into the pocket and retrieved an empty nip of Sea Ice vodka. Cormier consented to a breathalyzer test and blew 0.205%, police said, and his eyes were “glassy and bloodshot.” A fifth of liquor and a tall Budweiser can were in plain view in Cormier’s car, Riter said.

If you go to reach for a nip of straight vodka in the presence of police officers at 10:30 in the morning, you might be a raging alcoholic. Just sayin.

They also confiscated his guns.

The Boxford Department of Public Works assisted with removing Cormier’s war-related items, including a musket and other military relics, Riter said. 

Thanks Beto!

It gets better….

Arraigned before Judge Allen Swan at Haverhill District Court, Cormier — still wearing the majority of his re-enactment costume — was released on his own recognizance. He was ordered to submit to daily alcohol screenings and wear a SCRAM alcohol monitoring device while his case is pending.

Yes, thats right – he wore his war reenactment uniform in court. Sadly in Haverhill that was the least shocking outfit warn to court that day.

I’ll give this guy one thing to his credit – he is a model drunk.

Following his arraignment, Cormier was transported back to the Boxford police station because he was still drunk, Riter said. He remained at the station until 3 p.m. and took an Uber back home.

“He was a gentleman the whole time,” Riter said. “It’s an unfortunate situation. I hope he works it out and gets the help he needs.”

Of course he was a gentlemen. This man right here is in the Continental Army, not some ragtag militia.

On a serious note, I do hope this guy gets the help he needs. He has no criminal record and has been doing these reenactments for years now, and by the looks of it kids really enjoy it. All George Washington really needs to do is just focus on the history and ease up on the Fireball.


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