Like Turtleboy on Facebook
Fun Facebook Posts

New Bedford Couple Asks Community To Deliver Soda, Pizza, French Fries, And Ice Cream For Holidays Because Paying For Food Is Overrated


A New Bedford woman named Kayara Souto posted today on a Southcoast Facebook yard sale group asking community members to come together and chip in for a good cause – her. But she wasn’t looking for winter clothing, or Christmas gifts for the kids, she was looking for one thing and one thing alone – food. Really, really healthy food.

The basics – Dorito’s, french fries, pizza, ice cream, cheez-its, soda, cheetos, etc. Oh, and delivery is preferable, because God forbid she put any sort of effort in. Please hurry though, because she’s starving to death.

She’s also recently engaged to man named Brandon Harrison, who apparently just smokes marijuana all day. I’m guessing that her fiance doesn’t work or earn any sort of income and thus the poor gal has to resort to begging strangers to hand deliver orange soda and stuffed crust pizza to their place in New Bedford.

He’s a little busy and has his hands full. Plus, who has time to buy groceries when you’re perpetually celebrating 420 and you blew all your money on weed?

It’s not like the old days when he used to save France from the terrorists.

Brandon Harrison is just not that guy anymore.

I remember a time when able bodied adults had these things called “pride” and “shame” that prevented them from going on Facebook and asking people to hand deliver bags of frozen food to their house for free. Ya know, because having pride and shame encouraged people to be self sufficient and provide for themselves. Luckily we got rid of those things and enabled a society of mooches to shamelessly freeload on Facebook and not think twice about it. Thank God we shut down private businesses, cancelled everything, and closed schools to protect people like Kayara from coming in contact with a virus that could pose a threat to her as a result of her healthy eating habits and good life choices. Great country we have here.


Please consider supporting local journalism by donating to the Turtle fund:

Follow us on Youtube, SoundCloud, Twitter, and Facebook.

Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonitization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the PayPal button above if you’d like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy: 



Related Articles


Ad Free Turtleboy + TBDAILYNEWS

Ad Free Turtleboy

Ad Free Turtleboy
$10.00 / month