TB Investigates

Self-Described “Dope Rapper” Who Disrupted Blue Lives Rally With Racial Slurs Is Addicted To Coors Light, Recently Nodded Off During Performance, Was Arrested By Worcester Police At Palladium

 

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Over the weekend an unidentified man in a red ensemble disrupted a peaceful rally to support police officers in West Brookfield by shouting the n word and claiming it was permissible due to the fact that he is a self-described “dope rapper.”

Some people suggested he might have Down Syndrome, but after watching the video several times it’s clear that no one with DS would conduct themselves like that, and their entire community is embarrassed for him. He knew exactly what he was doing and saying, and he’s clearly desperate for attention. Plus he called a woman a retard which I’ve never heard anyone with DS do before.

Within minutes of the blog going up turtle riders had already identified IEP Diddy as Chris “The Rival” Palmerino, AKA Chris Matheson, who of course is from Southbridge, and is a self employed promoter of himself at “Dont be mad music.”

To say his Facebook page is ratchet gold might be the understatement of the century. You’ll never guess who his favorite sportball team is.

Of course. Because it’s a bylaw now that every aspiring rapper must own multiple flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats before achieving herd ratchetry. Add in the chinstrap, his affinity for Newport Lights, and his hatred of police and it’s really a miracle someone this close to Worcester hasn’t ended up on Turtleboy already.

Here he is rocking the flat brimmed Bulls hat outside of the Palladium in Worcester in 2017 for one of his “shows.”

He ended up getting kicked out for being so drunk, came back screaming at the staff, was asked to leave, refused, and ended up getting arrested by Worcester’s finest.

His music is straight fire too. My personal favorite performance was his recent Facebook live show in which he nods off at about the 1:26 mark. Be warned, I couldn’t stop hysterically laughing in a room by myself while watching this.

My man was out like a log for 10 minutes except when he briefly woke up to drink more Coors Light.

He was just getting clean too after a few months of being conspicuously absent, in which he may or may not have been a guest of the Worcester County Sheriff’s office.

Wait until he gets introduced to Hennessy. Game over.

IEP Diddy makes is making substantial profit off of his music too, despite relying on bathroom sales for his homemade CD’s.

He’s got a new CD coming out August 14 for $1 a song, so stay woke for that.

It will play on your computer if you have Window 95. If not, you’re out of luck.

Remarkably he seems to get women and I’m told has a girlfriend.

Watch out, because Mr. Steal Yo Girl will make out with your boo on Only Fans while ripping Newports and guzzling Coors Light.

Being addicted to Coors Light might be the weakest substance abuse disorder in the history of substance abuse. I was addicted to Coors Light for four years and I still made it to at least half of my classes at UMass. He even claimed to “accidentally” overdose on nectar of the frat boy a couple weeks ago.

How on earth do you “overdose” on Coors Light? It’s water and confidence in a tin can. Keep in mind, his nodoff video was a couple days ago so shockingly his resolution to be more careful while accidentally drinking Coors Light didn’t come to fruition.

Anyway, if The Rival wants to come on the live show next weekend I’d love to have him on as a guest to talk about why he hates the police, what his political leanings are, and how his rap career has evolved over time. That is, if he doesn’t have another show booked at the Palladium.

 

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