Hockey Parents In Foxborough Brawl In Front Of Their Kids After Dispute Over Which Person’s Kid Is A Trash Predator While Small Children Whip Water Bottles At Them

 

Here’s a video of some trashbag hockey parents in Foxborough doing hockey parent things at a recent children’s sporting event.

 

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – hockey parents are by far the worst parents of all youth sports parents, and second place isn’t really close. This simply never happens as kid’s soccer games, but every time I see a video from a kid’s hockey game 2 sludge donkeys are going at it in front of the kids, someone’s trying to kill the ref, or Jen Altman’s doppelgänger  is shooting someone in the bleachers.

It all began when Donnie Dipshit here took offense to another parent allegedly calling his kid trash.

The other parent, who sounds like he drinks sausage brine by the gallon, clarified that he didn’t tell Donnie Dipshit’s kid that he was trash, he told the REF that Donnie Dipshit’s kid played like trash.

“I told the ref he played like trash.”

Because that’s way better.

But after Donnie Dipshit started showing his true colors the other parent, who was off camera at the time, clarified that he was in fact shitting on Donnie Dipshit’s child.

“Your kid does play like trash”

Meanwhile, the poor kid was watching this all go down through the glass and was asking himself why his parents couldn’t pull a Kate Peter and let him live with a normal family that didn’t make this part of their weekly Sunday routine.

In fact, all of the children on the ice were stopping and observing how adults are apparently supposed to act, guaranteeing that they will one day grow up to be equally horrible parents as well.

It’s simultaneously hilarious and tragic.

Donnie Dipshit was walking away, but of course him and Stevie Sausages had to debate loudly about whether or not Donnie Dipshit’s kid was in fact a horrible person in front of everyone. From the sounds of it Stevie Sausages used to coach Donnie Dipshit’s kid, and they disagreed on philosophy:

Donnie Dipshit: “My kid sees the ice, he’s much better than any kid you have”

Stevie Sausages: “Your kid’s is a predator”

Donnie Dipshit: “You sucked as a coach”

If you ever find yourself yelling out in public that another person’s child is a “predator” because of the way they play a sport, you are a horrible person who should just quit at life. Conversely, if another parent is acting like a dickhead like this, the appropriate modeling for your child is to ignore it and just walk away, and perhaps follow up with a strongly worded email to the league on Monday.

But Donnie Dipshit wasn’t gonna let that happen. Not after Stevie Sausages yelled out the unforgivable fighting words:

“You’re the biggest embarrassment in hockey, your whole family.”

If you tell a Norfolk County Dad that his family is an embarrassment to hockey you might as well tell him that you and your homies ran train on his wife. At that point Donnie Dipshit had no choice but to break free from his nagging wife who didn’t want him to watch him ruin yet another Saturday afternoon youth sporting event, and begin his ascent up the bleachers to exchange fisticuffs with Stevie Sausages.

Stevie Sausages looked exactly how you imagined he would look, and was of course standing at the top of the bleachers in boat shoes while calling other people’s children’s predators, sticking out the human airbag he calls a stomach as a defensive shield from Donnie Dipshit.

Stevie Sausages didn’t seem the least bit fazed as enraging other children’s parents by loudly degrading their kids in front of them is something he’s grown accustomed to. He just patiently waited for Donnie Dipshit to break through the wall of slightly less horrible hockey parents before he was finally forced to defend himself.

And by “defend himself” I mean, “tackled Donnie Dipshit into a horrified woman who instantly regretted not signing her son up for Little League.

 

From there Donnie Dipshit decided to use Stevie Sausages’ ultimate kryptonite to defeat him – gravity.

 

As the two grown men stumbled down the bleachers in front of barely horrified women and children who have seen this happen a million times before, it was time for the ceremonial unveiling of the fupas.

 

Then, out of nowhere, we got to see the next generation of douchebag hockey parents, as what appears to be a 10 year old boy injected himself into the fight by whipping a water bottle at Stevie Sausages, and then immediately returning to his conehead father, who didn’t even attempt to reprimand him for his behavior.

This is how your kid grows up to be Colin Albert. Guarantee you that kid’s Dad has a “my kid beat your honor student” bumper sticker proudly displayed on the back of his 04 Chevy Blazer.

Of course every mother in this county is required to look like Kerry Lama.

Finally the video ended with one of the children standing on the ice looking humiliated and disappointed that these are the adults in his life.

Same time next week kid.

I really hate all these people so much. If I ever get this invested in my kids’ sporting eventss please just take me out back and force me to listen to Jason Broyles reading 50 Shades of Gray as punishment until I learn to be normal again. Anyone who yells at the refs from the bleachers in front of their kids, degrades other people’s children, brags about their kid “seeing the ice” better than another person’s kid, or allows/encourages their free range feral children to whip water bottles at other men’s fupas, should be chemically castrated and never allowed to reproduce again. I don’t think this is a controversial opinion either.

Anyone know who these 2 parents are? Chances are at least one of them is from Canton, but I suppose Stoughton and Walpole are possibilities too. Send me a DM or email at [email protected] if you know who they are. I’d love to reach out to them for comment.