Aaron Hernandez’ Prison Boyfriend And 19 Year Old Aspiring Singer/Stripper Uxbridge Girlfriend Arrested In Princeton With Shotgun After Leading Police On Chase 


Princeton is a quiet town, and one of the smallest in Central Massachusetts with a population under 4,000. I live right near it, and although there’s no reason to go there for anything it’s a cut through town that you have to go through to get to Gardner, Fitchburg, or anywhere on Route 2. For that reason Route 140 is how every McRatchet on their way to and from these dumps gets back to the highway (190).

Yesterday the Princeton Police announced on Facebook that they made an arrest in April after attempting to pull a car over for having an altered/loud exhaust. The car refused to pull over, a duffel bag was thrown out of the car window with a sawed off shotgun and ski masks in it, and a passenger was dropped off where 140 splits with 31. After that stop sticks were placed in Sterling which deflated the bad guy’s tires and eventually the two remaining occupants of the vehicle were arrested. One of these names should ring a bell.

Kyle “Pure” Kennedy, more famously known as Aaron Hernandez’ prison boyfriend, who once legally sold his soul in juvey in exchange for a Gameboy.


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Last we heard from Pure was in late 2019 when he was releasing his steamy correspondences with Hernandez and filming himself driving 160 mph.

I knew it was only a matter of time until he went back to jail because people like Kyle Kennedy have no intention whatsoever of obeying the law or living to see the age of 40. I don’t know if Pure could get more ratchet than he already was, but the Princeton mugshot shows that he can.

I didn’t think it was possible to look worse than he did when he was Aaron Hernandez’ human jizz sponge, but heterosexuality and freedom have not been kind to Kyle Kennedy. I guess he’s straight again, because now he’s got a girlfriend/down ass ho, with the same last name as him (Alyssa Kennedy), who was arrested with him and appears to have gotten matching tattoos with her boo.


That is, if you call this heterosexual.


As you can see, Chloe Chlamydia’s destiny is working the poll for food stamps at the Sweaty Betty’s daytime shift.

Ya know, it’s too bad, because she’s not an ugly girl or anything, and she could’ve probably worked the Thursday night shift if she still looked like this.

But once Pure gets ahold of you and turns your body into an etch-a-sketch you come out looking like a backpage goth hooker.


The two of them were driving around with a shotgun and ski masks, which means they were almost definitely on their way to or from a planned home invasion. Not sure what happened to the other passenger, but I would imagine his absence and their arrest temporarily delayed their scheduled tag Eiffel Tower that evening.

If your daughter ends up looking like Chloe Chlamydia and dating Kyle Kennedy it means you have completely failed as a parent. Ya know, the kind of person whose primary concern would be promoting your criminal daughter’s new album a couple weeks after she was arrested throwing a sawed off shotgun out of a moving vehicle with the cops chasing you.

Deborah Kennedy isn’t a regular Mom, she’s a cool Mom.

And she knows her semen demon was destined to one day end up in jail.


As for her musical career, I would rather listen to the howling sounds of pleasure coming out of Kyle Kennedy’s pole polisher while Aaron Hernandez laid his claim to him in Cell Block D than I would ever hearing this Chloe Chlamydia attempt to sing while spread eagle on a Cadillac.

Her father Peter Kennedy also shared the video and claims her daughter is “trying to change,” but needs prayers and views for that to happen.

Mom and Dad can’t say she didn’t encourage her daughter’s relationship with Pure, considering they welcomed him with open arms for family holidays and vacations.

And for some reason this was her graduation photo.

In case you have to give the superintendent a lap dance to make up those last couple credits you owe.

Apparently “trying to change” means getting plowed by a violent criminal, assisting him in armed robberies, making music videos at your suburban home in Uxbridge, and hoodrat virtue signaling about stuff like this.


Safe to say this won’t be the last we heard from either of them. But if Alyssa would like to come on the Live Show tomorrow night to promote her new album she’s welcome to reach out to me on Facebook at Clarence Woods Emerson, or email [email protected].

*Editors Note* We discussed this story on the Live Show with a major update 45:25


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