Goffstown Woman Who Crashed Drunk Driving Wrong Way On Highway Mocks Woman Whose Mother Was Killed By Drunk Driver, Says “Shit Happens,” Gets Called Out Publicly By Her Father


This is Jazlyn Hale from Goffstown, NH.

On Friday afternoon she decided to drive around the highway shitfaced, hit the guardrail several times, drove onto the median to turn around and go the other way on the highway, then drove across the median again but didn’t change her directions this time and started going directly into oncoming traffic. Luckily she crashed her car into the guardrail again before she could kill someone.

I expected nothing less from a grown woman who uses dog filters and calls herself “Shawty.”

In order to get a nickname like that you have to have your muffin stuffed by at least 50% of Manchester men with flat brimmed hats who have their probation officer on speed dial.

A normal person stays far away from a post like this, mainly do to embarrassment and shame. But the Goffstown Salami Saucer decided to show up and laugh react to a woman who lost her mother to a drunk driver, say “shit happens,” and complain that she shouldn’t have to lose her license over this.

An accident is something that happens on accident. Princess Salami Saucer intentionally drove the wrong way on the highway in an attempt to evade the police after knowingly getting into her vehicle while plastered at 4 PM.

Ya know you’re a piece of shit when your own father shows up on the thread to call you a “drunk, pill popping loser,” and then he tells the world about your other recent DUI crash at 9 in the morning while driving her junkie boyfriend’s car.

This guy’s a junk box?

Never saw that one coming. He looks stable, and probably never says “what’s good bro” when addressing his homies.

In fairness, the father agreed to name his semen demon “Jazlyn,” so she was predestined to become a pill popping drunk driver, a stripper, or both. Luckily she hasn’t killed anyone yet, but it’s clear she has no remorse and will do this again the second you put her around Fireball and a set of car keys. They should definitely take her license away, but let’s be honest – that definitely will NOT deter her from driving drunk in the very near future. For a normal person with a substance abuse problem this would act as a wakeup call. But Jazlyn is the kind of slambox who laughs at people whose parents were killed by drunk drivers, so she’s incapable of showing remorse or thinking about anyone but herself, and clearly will learn nothing from this.

P.S. This story reminds me of Amy Peterson, AKA the Twisted Teabagger, who was charged with 2 DUI’s in 24 hours on I-95 in Connecticut, one in which she was driving the wrong way on the highway, then ignored the advice of counsel and came on the Live Show to explain why she did nothing wrong. She died in January of this year (2022).


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