Breaking News: Planet Fitness may be in serious financial trouble after a boycott has picked up steam in the south coast area due to one man’s negative experience there.
I find that story to be 100% credible. This upstanding gentleman, who exists for the sole purpose of providing sexual pleasure to women he meets at the gym, asked a woman out at a Planet Fitness in Fall River or Somerset. However, this went south when a “crazy spoiled broad” exaggerated what happened, and he ended up getting banned from the facility. News of this spread and it got him kicked out of the “best damn MMA gym,” but only because the staff at Planet Fitness is “weak, futile, and not in shape,” unlike Ryan Kilby who is a crockpot of boiling sex juice.
At the new gym he trains at a hot blonde woman began to eye him up and down, because she no doubt liked what she saw. This sort of encounter was typical of a Ryan Kilby trip to the gym, and normally would’ve resulted in a quick bone sesh, because wherever he goes hot blonde women are drawn to his rod.
Unfortunately, due to the negative experience at Planet Fitness where the woman exaggerated what he said to her, he was afraid to approach the hot blonde at the new gym, lest he be falsely accused of wrongdoing again.
This sort of behavior (women who won’t have sex with him) is strictly an American thing, which is why he usually prefers to shag European, African, Asian, South American, and Australian women. Sorry Antarctic and Canadian women, but you’re out luck.
However, it hasn’t prevented him from slaying left and right. For instance, last month a hot blonde woman mounted his cervix scraper in Rhode Island. Although he forgot to record the passionate love making, he claims that she yelled “holy s*** that d*** is bombin” which is completely believable once you see his gym workouts and sword play.
What woman wouldn’t scream out, “Holy s*** that d*** is bombin” after taking a ride on his magical bologna baton?
Will his boycott make a difference? It’s too early to tell at the moment, but we will keep you posted as details develop. In the meantime, I hope the rest of your day is as bombin as it was for the hot blonde from Rhode Island that he met last month.
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