Ratchet Madness 2022 Round 2: Guttermuppet Region



Voting is now officially over in the First Round of Ratchet Madness. Here are the final 8 Ratchets who have survived and advanced to the next round.

This is the best I have ever seeded a Ratchet Madness Tournament. Almost all the favorites won in this region, and the lowest seed to advance in any other bracket was a 12. Should make for a competitive Second Round.

Speaking of, it’s time to decide which 4 ratchets should advance to the Sweet 16 in the Guttermuppet Region. You have 24 hours to vote for which ratchet is most deserving in the following matchups. Ratchet resumes attached with links to relevant blogs.


1. Calvina Strothers  vs. 8. Ma’Khia Bryant’s Parents

1. Calvina Strothers

  • Arrested and charged for beating her daughter Mikayla Miller
  • Frequently neglected her daughter by flying to Chicago to see her gang banging boyfriend, leaving Mikayla alone and unsupervised
  • Lied to the media by pushing a completely made up story about her daughter being lynched by 5 white teenagers
  • Teamed up with Monica Cannon-Grant to bring a mob to Hopkinton to demand “justice”
  • Raised over $60K with a GFM for her daughter for an “independent investigation” that she knew could never happen because Mikayla was already cremated


8. Ma’Khia Bryant’s Parents

  • Blamed police for the death of her daughter while taking no accountability for herself, despite the fact that her troubled child was in foster care and instigated the entire incident which was all caught on film.
  • Never mentioned that father was involved in the fight, and both of them have a long and documented criminal history.
  • Kept her daughter truant from school and then lied to the media about her being an honor student.
  • Mom was previously arrested on domestic violence and assault charges
  • In 2010 she was charged with domestic violence, assault, and endangering children. She plead guilty on an amended charge
  • Dad was seen on video kicking one of the other girls in the head while she was lying on the ground
  • After daughter was shot in an event that he provoked he yelled at the cop saying, “that’s my baby,” and “Is you stupid? She’s a kid!”




4. Medford Quarry Queefhog vs. 5. Harmony Montgomery’s Parents

4. Medford Quarry Queefhog 

  • Hasn’t had custody of either of her kids since July of 2020 due to the fact that she’s a junkie/alcoholic with a long and documented history of domestic violence
  • DCF created an action plan for her, which included parenting classes, but she failed to abide by it and was unable to reunite with either child in June of 2021
  • Claims to have a job but really just has an Only Fans account where she sells disturbing videos of her fupa to lonely men
  • Taunted and threatened another woman who she crashed into while driving drunk
  • After getting out of jail she immediately posted on Facebook “next time I’ll have to hit ya harder, it’s a vibe”
  • Used the crash that SHE CAUSED by driving drunk in order to get people to give her free Christmas gifts for her two kids that she doesn’t see
  • Came on the Live Show and claimed that she was blackout drunk
  • Said the drunk driving crash was an “honest accident”
  • Drove after taking 4 shots despite being just a block away from her home
  • Blamed the victim for not having her lights on (they were on)
  • She had 4 shots before getting in the car but chose to drive anyway, even though she was a block away from her home
  • Previously arrested for beating up a lot 73 year old man for his percocets
  • Said she’s the real victim because her airbags didn’t go off
  • Said that her and her friend Brianna were hunting down the victims for talking shit about them since the crash that she caused
  • Said she had alcoholic amnesia, which made her unable to remember the crash
  • Said she was depressed about herself, but not the “dumb bitch” she crashed into and could’ve killed
  • After the show she was so upset with her baby daddy that she officially renounced their child (who she called a mutt) and claimed the baby was not hers, despite the fact that it came out of her, and changed her profile picture to “single mama of one”



5. Harmony Montgomery’s Parents

  • Never reported 5 year old daughter missing for 2 years
  • Mom abandoned daughter to live in Florida where she “got clean” and made another baby
  • Mom pretended to care about the daughter she hadn’t seen or attempted to locate in over 2 years immediately after she disappeared
  • Mom started a GoFundMe and vowed to sue DCF for not taking care of the child she abandoned
  • Dad was charged with abusing daughter, who he made clean the toilet bowl with a tooth brush
  • Dad fought for custody and was granted it despite shooting someone in the face in 2014 during a heroin deal




3. Cumberland Custody Queef Parents  vs. 11. Taunton Pedo Magnet Mom

3. Cumberland Custody Queef Parents

  • Swore at and tried to fight several 10 year olds on a Cumberland, RI playground because they were so offended by the children’s use of foul language
  • Told a child she would “smack the dog shit out of you”
  • Yelled “Shut the f*** up. Shut the f*** up!! You’re a bunch of trash, get out of here!”
  • When another kid politely told her it was innapropriate to yell at children like that she yelled “Shut up!! You, shut your mouth! Now you’re getting me mad!!! Now you’re pissing me off!!”
  • Did this all while their traumatized child cried in the background
  • From Quincy, don’t have custody of daughter, and were only visiting Rhode Island on a supervised visit
  • Infamous south shore junkies with an overflowing case of Google trophies
  • Mom has been arrested a plethora of times for drugs, shoplifting, and armed burglary
  • Dad once broke into a woman’s home in Weymouth in broad daylight, using a ladder to try to pry open her window. He took so long to do it that a neighbor in the crowded residential neighborhood had time to see him, knock on the door, and alert the old lady who lived there before she yelled at him and he ran away
  • Dad had an outstanding warrant for OUI drugs at the time, and he got arrested on warrants again in 2016
  • In 2020 Dad was arrested again in Weymouth for possessing Fentanyl and Adderall, conspiracy to violate the Controlled Substance Act, and motor vehicle violations. Except this time he was not the primary target, he was just a junkie who happened to be around one of the most infamous fentanyl dealers who was featured on TB in 2019 after being arrested twice in 2 months for selling fentanyl.




11. Taunton Pedo Magnet Mom

  • Mom is an alcoholic and drug attack with multiple DCF cases, and is reportedly on her second liver transplant and dialysis for kidney failure due to years of getting wasted while her two young children were locked in the house
  • Biggest life accomplishment was once beating a DCF charge
  • Previously hired two chicks to stab her former coworker from the dog track in Raynham that fired her
  • Moved her children in with registered sex offender from Taunton who once met a guy on Facebook who turned him onto kiddie porn, which he admitted to watching up to three hours at a time
  • New Dad previously lived with baby momma and her new wife after she became a lesbian
  • Previous baby momma crashed into an ex-girlfriends parked car on purpose while shitfaced at 5:30 PM, attempted to pin it on her her new girlfriend, spit on the cab driver that came to the police station to drive her home, then got tased when she refused to go into her holding cell
  • Outside of house is covered in trash



2. Tony Branch vs. 10. Liz Miranda

2. Tony Branch

  • Alleged Bishop who can’t provide any credentials that show he’s actually a Bishop, and shuts down public meetings when people ask him about it
  • Ran for Mayor of Brockton and got less than 1% of the vote
  • Allegedly had sex at his baby momma’s house with a 15 year old girl who was friends with her daughter and told her that God always wanted him to have a virgin
  • Denied having sex with underage girl but Judge found these denials to be “not credible”
  • Lost judgments to creditors and banks adding up to almost $100K in debt
  • Owed over $42K in property taxes
  • Had orders taken out on him by his own children, 2 baby mommas, and a 22 year old woman with a 7 month old baby who he let move into his house after meeting her online and knowing her for a month
  • Told woman his name was Tony Shabazz and that he was 35 when he was actually 49
  • Violated order by not turning in ammunition and was narced on by new girlfriend and charged after the police were called to his house due to controlling behavior
  • Lost driver’s license for nonpayment of child support and attempted to sue the Department of Revenue Child Support Division, but lost
  • Had an order taken out on him by his ex-wife’s former boss, after falsely accusing the man of having sex with his wife at the Holiday Inn Express in Braintree
  • Sued this man for harming his reputation by successfully getting an order against him
  • Has been accused by multiple women of physical and emotional abuse
  • Was foreclosed on and evicted in 2018 but has been squatting in the residence since
  • Declared bankruptcy in 2016
  • Creates false documents, including college degrees in order to obtain jobs
  • Attempted to commit insurance fraud, and lied about his income in order to obtain Section 8 vouched
  • Was fired from MGH in 2015 for scandal
  • Hides behind God whenever confronted with his past



10. Liz Miranda

  • Began having a sexual affair with a man from Michigan named “Corn” who was recently let out of jail after serving a 25 year sentence for murder
  • Used taxpayer money to get a hotel room in New Jersey so she could have sex with Corn, but told the public she was there to do research on criminal justice reform
  • Was well aware that Corn regularly beat his pregnant baby momma, who she also threatened
  • Had a restraining order taken out on her in Michigan, but beat it by hiring her friend Rachael Rollins
  • Filed bill to end life without parole in Massachusetts in case she found another murderer she wanted to have sex with
  • Had to delete her entire government Twitter account after hundreds of old tweets were exposed, calling people retards, and disparaging gays, transgenders, Asians, and of course white people



Hello Turtle Riders. As you know if you follow Turtleboy we are constantly getting censored and banned by Facebook for what are clearly not violations of their terms of service. Twitter has done the same, and trolls mass reported our blog to Google AdSense thousands of times, leading to demonetization. We can get by and survive, but we could really use your help. Please consider donating by hitting the Donation button above if you'd like support free speech and what we do in the face of Silicon Valley censorship. Or just buy our award winning book about the dangers of censorship and rise of Turtleboy:  Qries

Adblock Detected

Support the news you love. Please disable the ad blocker or purchase our ad free subscription