Ratchet Madness 2023 Sweet 16: Guttermuppet Region

 

Voting is completed in the Sweet 16 for the Spunktrumpet Region and we have our next two ratchets who will compete in the Elite 8 for a chance to get to the Final 4.

Krusty Panties made it to the Elite 8 in 2020 before getting knocked off by eventual champion Nikki Evans. But we’ve never seen a run like we’ve seen from our 16th seeded Bridgeport GoFundMe Gopher. Should be an interesting matchup next week.

Time to move on to the Guttermuppet Region, where the top 3 seeds have all been eliminated, leaving this one as wide open as some of the contestants. You have 24 hours to vote below on who should advance to the Elite 8. Ratchet resumes and links to blogs about the ratchets are below.

 

8. West Warwick Grammy Gangsta  vs. 4. Worcester Pepperonia Pinata

8. West Warwick Grammy Gangsta 

•  15 year old West Warwick boy named Ger’Vontae Tilson was shot and killed in Providence, and he was commemorated in the normal ratchet fashion – t-shirts, empty bottles of Henny, and a candlelight vigil
• Mom spoke about what a great kid her felon in training son was, and that he had a baby on the way despite being 15
• Began posting in CAPS LOCK about how she was gonna kill the people who killed her son, plotting to hurt mofos, and bragging how her son was the realest
• It turned out that her son got shot after setting another kid up to be robbed of a gun, and the shooter was not charged with murder because it was self defense
• Mom responded to non-indictment about how “REAL N****S DON’T HIDE,” as she vowed revenge
• Immediately began working on dope t-shirts, tattoos, and making sure no one took a picture of the casket.
• Glorified the teenage girl who’s acting as the incubator for her first of many grandchildren to come.
• Posted videos two days after son died from when her son was 13 years old, teasing him about losing his virginity alongside the mother of the girl he lost his virginity to
• “N****s is out here losing they virginity and shit. Ger’vonte, that’s what you do at 13. You don’t even know what the f*** you doing. What you doing, baby strokes? It’s even more funny because the Mom is my friend.”
• When he was alive Mom did nothing about son’s Facebook posts saying he was the “realest n****a” in Providence and about how his rivals “better get low” when they see him
• Primary concern afterwards was people “clout chasing” grief by crying too much over his death
• Media intentionally cropped out picture of her with her dead son so it didn’t show him giving the camera the finger
• Regularly films herself driving around with her unrestrained toddlers in the back hitting each other and flipping the bird
• Posted 30 minute video pretending to be a good mother, because she’s upset about the way that her son’s friends are grieving him because it takes the attention off of her

 

4. Worcester Pepperonia Pinata

• Blamed police in Facebook posts and at press conference after her nephew and junior hoodbooger friends stole a car, drove it 70 mph down Main Street in Worcester, and crashed and killed one passenger
• Was so upset and grieving about what happened that she had time to get her hair and nails done before the press conference
• Frequently threatens to throw down with the parent of any child who attempts to f*** with her kid
• Vowed to “start a California forest fire in Massachusetts, in the name of Allah”  if she saw people “speaking ill of the parents”
• Frequently uses Facebook to call out rival hoes and claim ownership of spicy looking caucasian chicks looking to experiment sexually
• Posted images on Facebook visiting gravestone of man named OG Steelz, and throwing up gang signs with the Chandler Boyz
• Claimed to be highly educated with two degrees, and was valedictorian of something, but likely has a GED at most
• Job appears to be selling plus sized panties on Facebook
• Said it was OK for her nephew and friends to drive stolen car 70 mph through red light because they had their headlights on
• Was proud of being featured on the blog and said I used great pictures of her
• Named her criminal son after Muhammed Ali’s slave name
• Did such a poor job raising her son that by the time he was 18 he was already well known to the police from his involvement in gangs and was involved with shooting a 15 year old in the face
•  Is a gangbanging criminal herself who served time in Framingham for drug dealing, and was arrested 2 years ago by State Police
• When son was younger she plead guilty to dealing cocaine and gun charges, and was put on a DCF plan
• Helped bail her son out of jail last year, but he ended up violating the terms of his release and is now locked up in the Worcester House of Corrections
• Presented herself at the press conference as some sort of legitimate human being whose opinions should be taken seriously, but video emerged of her a few months prior beating the dog piss out of a rival ho at 3 G’s sports bar in Worcester

 

 

11. Hoochy Yamaguchi vs. 10. New Bedford Knob Slob

11. Hoochy Yamaguchi

• Orchestrated and participated in assault on an elderly man and then ordered her hoodbooger friends to beat and curb stomp him and another man when they came to look for his glasses
• Could be heard on the video taunting the victim on the ground, making fun of him for crying
• Is only 18 but will almost definitely be pregnant in the next 3 years, and she will never, EVER leave Brockton
• Questioned by the police but avoided a charge by ratting
• Claimed that the elderly man she helped assault was an “angel,” and said that two of the other thugs were named X and Ray before crying, refusing to sign anything, and demanding a lawyer

 

10. New Bedford Knob Slob

• Extremely grizzled woman who almost definitely speaks with a Newport Lights accent
• Has given birth to 5 or 6 children (hard to keep track), who she likes to use as props in her e-begging scams, especially around the holidays
• Posted in a Wareham Facebook group that one of her baby daddy’s died “unexpectedly,” and she was waiting for the “children’s death benefits,” and asked for handouts to give her kids a Merry Christmas
• Failed to mention that her baby daddy had a plethora of Google trophies, the two of them routinely got high together, and he probably died from an overdose, but immediately capitalized on that with a GoFundMe
• Failed to mention that just 5 days before she found him dead he was arrested for violating a restraining order she had on him when they were pulled over by police while she was giving him a ride home from court
• Failed to mention that just a couple days ago she violated the terms of her probation by skipping out on rehab and not passing her piss tests
• Has been charged with 95 crimes in various courts around the south shore, including incident when trooper noticed her trying to hide heroin and needles when they were pulled over for driving an unregistered vehicle
• Arrested in 2018 for driving under the influence of drugs with kids in the car, and police actually found her passed out in the driver’s seat
• In 2019 she was arrested for driving without a license after a cop saw her illegally parking in a handicapped spot
• In 2020 she once again was arrested again for rear ending someone after most likely dozing off during a bender while behind the wheel of a vehicle she wasn’t licensed to operate
• Has been begging for free shit for years and using the children she keeps firing out of her baby cannon as bait
• According to her Facebook bio you’re not allowed to judge her
• Is 39 years old but appears to be 114 in New Bedford years
• Despite being unable to afford Christmas for her kids, she is able to bring them to Disney World every year
• Last year she claimed that her now deceased sperm donor beat the crap out of her and she had to go full single Mom since they’d already booked the trip
• Despite Disney trips every year she can’t afford to pay her government subsidized rent of $450 a month, which is why she was evicted by the New Bedford Housing Authority a few weeks ago
• Offers house cleaning services, which she uses to elicit sympathy by constantly bringing up the fact that the guy she had an order on died of an overdose
• Used housecleaning “business” to steal people’s pills, their dead mother’s wedding rings, pandora bracelets, concert tickets, and $500 Euros if they just let you into their Swansea, Rochester, and Dartmouth homes
• Was so high that she asked the woman who pressed charges on her if she could clean her house again
• Used fake business to get $9,100 in free money via PPP loans for the scam business that she uses to rob people
• Claims to be college graduate
• Has lucrative side gig of selling stolen gift cards that aren’t activated