Ratchet Madness 2022 Sweet 16: Fupasloth Region

 

Two more ratchets have been eliminated and two more have advanced to the Elite 8 of Ratchet Madness.

I’ve never seen this many nail biters before in Ratchet Madness. Every vote counts, although the North Providence Biker Mom will have much stiffer competition against GSD next week for a shot at the Final 4.

It’s time to choose the last two Elite 8 Ratchets. You have 24 hours to vote for who should advance in the Fupasloth Region.

 

 

1. Dasha Kelly vs. 5. Huntington Gropey Groomers

1. Dasha Kelly

• Pretended that she was the mother of another woman’s 3 kids in order to go on CNN and scam people with a $225K GoFundeMe
• Lied about being unemployed due to COVID in order to pressure the federal government to extend the eviction moratorium
• Failed to mention that she lives with an able bodied deadbeat who she made leave the apartment when CNN showed up
• Revealed to have had multiple evictions and twice tried and failed to sue the casino that fired her
• After getting caught GoFundMe offered to return money to all donors and she ended up getting sued
• Said that it was OK because she “feels like the mom” despite just being the chick who the baby daddy is currently shacking up with
• Began going on bizarre YouTube channels where she magically turned into the ratchet she always was by shitting on the real mother of the kids she pretended were hers

 

 

5. Huntington Gropey Groomers

• Dad got arrested for trying to lure a minor to have sex with him while on a family camping trip in New York
• Exhibited bizarre behavior towards teen daughter, including snuggling together and whipping her while wearing leather chaps at a Halloween party
• Was a volunteer firefighter in Huntington and allowed his Confederate loving teen daughter start dating another creepy Huntington firefighter who proposed to her in front of friends and family
• Facebook pictures of the couple are incredibly creepy, posted well before she turned 18, and became Facebook official on her 18th birthday
• Pedo father of the bride posted his support on his grooming friend’s Facebook page when he was being accused of being a creepy diddler

 

 

 

6. Ashley St. Angelo  vs. 2. Braintree Senorita Snail Trail

6. Ashley St. Angelo

• Transgender dude blogged about in 2020 after his missing teen daughter posted on Facebook that she had runaway from him because he’s abusive
• Immediately tried to profit off her disappearance with a GoFundMe
• Constantly in trouble with the law and once tried jumping off a bridge for attention and pity
• Attempted to get us to take the blog down by smearing his children as liars
• Filed for restraining order after we refused, which was granted by tyrant judge in Providence
• Began harassing and stalking my family at home and work
• Had restraining order taken out against him in Leominster District Court, which he violated and had a warrant out for his arrest
• Ended up being arrested by East Providence Police and is currently facing charges in Fitchburg
• House ended up becoming condemned by animal control after deplorable conditions were discovered

 

2. Braintree Senorita Snail Trail

• Dorchester hood bunny who “got out the hood” and moved to Braintree with her litter of children
• Went to drop off this morbidly obese and neglected offspring at school, but intended to confront administration, teachers, and students over “prejudism and racism”
• Vowed to confront 6th graders on Facebook Live inside the school building: “These kids be walking around here like they have some type of whatever because they’re white. Well I’m gonna be that woman to be over here and make sure they don’t have that”
• Confronted the school resource officer and principal in the main office and yelling the n word at the top of her lungs in front of children, before being removed from the building
• Almost ran over the crossing guard and was parked in the bus lane
• Called the principal a “white cracker,” before finding out that her car was going to be towed because her license was suspended
• In front of her kids she repeatedly used racial slurs and vulgarity, and even interviewed them and coerced them to say that their schools were racist so they could get on Fox 25 News
• Kept calling the principal the “bitch ass principal” in front of kids
• Contemplated beating up a cop: “It would’ve been f***ed up if I had beat the shit out of that cop, right? Maybe I should just catch a whole new case and beat the f*** out that bitch!”
• Forced kid to say he was being bullied, “Because you’re fat, right?”
• “The only thing they can use against me is that my car isn’t insured and I don’t have my license.”
• Went home for Round 4, which is 15 minutes of her swearing and complaining about how racist everyone is, and vowing to take over the suburbs with hoodrats
• Said that her fat son was justified in assaulting another student while her feral four year child roamed around the house in a diaper
• Promised to get arrested and go to jail in order to prove how much she cares about her kids
• Older son was killed in gang activity that she involved him in
• Vowed to ignore restraining order from school: “Telll me I can’t go back to the school? Well a bitch like me, I’m gonna go back to that school, and I’m gonna keep going back”
• Stated that “Those slaves fought for us, so we can read and we can write,” even though she can do neither
• Vowed to keep her kids home from school so they could “do their Google shit”