Ratchet Madness 2023 Round 2: Spunktrumpet Region


Voting is finished in Round 2 of the Fupasloth Region and we have our first four Sweet 16 finalists.

Fucci was the biggest winner in the first round, but suddenly got a lot closer in round 2. Could he be eliminated next? We will see next week. As for now it’s time to vote for which 4 ratchets should advance in the Spunktrumpet Region.


16. Bridgeport GoFundMe Gopher vs. 9. Merrimack Valley Vaj Vixon

16. Bridgeport GoFundMe Gopher

  • Allowed litter of children to play in disaster zone of a backyard, filled with gas cans, dangerous equipment, and sharp objects
  • After 7 year old son’s face was lit on fire while playing with gasoline covered tennis balls they immediately made up lie that he was bullied by other kids in order to raise more than half a million dollars via GoFundMe
  • Immediately bought a new home and received plethora of free gifts, including being honored by Yankees despite burns that went away quickly
  • Previously had multiple evictions and owed over $60K in rent
  • Allowed other boys falsely accused of bullying to become targets of international hate mob


9. Merrimack Valley Vaj Vixon

  • Likes to film herself on her YouTube channel driving around with her unrestrained kids giving complicated orders at McDonald’s and singing
  • Saw a man selling his engagement ring on Facebook marketplace and said she wanted to buy it off of him before agreeing to meet at Kay Jewelers in the Rockingham Mall to authenticate the stone, but it was all part of a scam invovling her two teenage sons
  • Brought fake ring with her, handed it off to the jeweler to clean it, then had her teenage sons in the food court ready to help her out. Props to Sam for sniffing that one out. If he had waited for the jeweler to clean it she would’ve been long gone
  • After being confronted by man selling her ring she tried to weaponize her femininity by pretending to be a damsel in distress being attacked by an aggressive male who was likely trying to kidnap her into sex slavery
  • Owns a jewelry company in Miami that she steals inventory for and sells for a profit
  • Moved to Miami to get mental health treatment in 2019, and her ex-husband was given full custody of their kids
  • Has open DCF cases, often behaves erratically in front of the boys, was institutionalized for 2 weeks in Newburyport, neglects the boys, moved to New Hampshire without permission, and her son went missing.
  • Been brought to housing court twice for not paying rent in her West Newbury government subsidized housing projects
  • Also has charges for operating an uninsured, unregistered vehicle without a license, failing to notify the RMV about where she lived, and larceny




13. New Hampshire Rover Leftover vs. 12. Mount St. Melons

13. New Hampshire Rover Leftover

  • Arrested for beastiality after getting caught on film having sex with other people’s pets from Rover.com that he was paid to take care of
  • Posted on a Facebook group called Pets of the 603, looking for a temporary home for his 140 pound dog, since the terms of his release dictate that he not be allowed around animals
  • Attempted to defend himself and explain why this whole thing was one big misunderstanding
  • Went on to explain that he didn’t actually have sex with the dog, and that he faked the whole thing out of anger and depression, with the intent to make it look real, but he was way too good at recreating dog porn and now the cops and the owner think he’s a fido f***er.


12. Mount St. Melons

  • Presents herself on Facebook and Instagram as sexy, independent, girl boss single Mom
  • Doesn’t work, having retired from stripping over a decade ago, but she does have a sugar daddy who pays for everything.
  • Often posts pictures with cute little dogs, because those are the only dogs that go hand in hand with with duck lips and fake tits
  • In reality dogs were living in horrific conditions, covered in feces and living in cages which wasn’t revealed until MSPCA raider her home
  • Multiple dogs died and were replaced with new ones by her sugar daddy
  • Probate court docs show that she taught her sons pole dancing techniques on a telephone pole, that her son asked his grandma if she knew that a dildo looked like a penis
  • Her other son told his grandma that her sugar daddy’s adult son tickled his privates as a kid
  • One of the boys said that his wee-wee didn’t have hair on it like Derek’s did, and that Derek was teaching them inappropriate things to say




3. Krusty Panties vs. 11. Money Mike Bates and Dope Sick Vic

3. Krusty Panties

  • Stalked, harassed, and threatened a random woman she never met for over a year due to her perceived association with TB
  • Claimed to have paid a private eye to follow the woman around for 6 months and repeatedly posted nude images of her on social media
  • Had an order taken out against her by the woman, only to violate it 2 days later and get charged for doing so
  • Continuously buys subscribers on YouTube in order to validate her own existence
  • Frequently shares pictures of her children to the creepy cult of men from around the world she has assembled on YouTube
  • Raised $60K with a fraudulent legal fees GoFundMe, only to fire the attorney and not show an accounting of where they money went
  • Fabricated a fake email from DCF in a vain attempt to disprove that DCF paperwork showing she abused and neglected her children were fake
  • Repeatedly tells people that she voluntarily adopted out her two youngest children, when in fact they were taken form her by the state after a reunification attempt failed
  • Allows her boyfriend (who she calls her husband) to live in her house with her children despite the fact that he is currently being charged with assault and battery with a knife on her then 14 year old daughter
  • Three months after the knife incident her boyfriend was arrested again in the house for assaulting her, but she allowed him to stay despite the fact that her son told his DCF worker that he is scared to live with him
  • Announced on social media to thousands of people that she lets her 16 year old daughter have sex in her house, provides her with condoms, allows her to smoke pot, and bribes her with cigarettes to do chores
  • Got her 16 year old daughter to contact us and threaten to reproduce so that her children could attack mine, while making sexual comments about a 5 year old
  • Forced her 16 year old daughter to go to court and try to get a HPO on Turtleboy in the hopes that it would compel the court to remove blogs about her mother
  • Forced her daughter to read her own heinous messages in court that were sexualizing 5 and 7 year old children


11. Money Mike Bates and Dope Sick Vic

  • Convicted drug dealing ex-con turned landscaping business owner who started a fraudulent nonprofit that claims to get people treatment for fentanyl recovery
  • Took in potentially millions of dollars but refuses to provide any receipts or documentation showing where the money went
  • Hired a well known con-artist previously featured in Ratchet Madness named Mike Bates to run the finances, despite the fact that he had recently been sentenced to prison for securities fraud, ripped people off with fake t-shirt business, and owes $18K in child support
  • Exploits the homeless and drug addicts by videotaping them spinning a wheel to see what prize they won so they can upload the content to TikTok and go viral by appearing to be good people
  • Received $210K in donations from a philanthropist to pay for specific men and women to receive treatment at rehab facilities, but never followed through on the treatment
  • Brought one man in from Oklahoma with the promise of receiving world class rehab help, forced him to do TikToks for them, only to put him in a group home that cost them nothing and left him stranded
  • Provided one man they were claiming to help with prescription drugs
  • Were called out by one homeless man who they exploited on TikTok and promised a job to, after running into him again 4 months later and forgetting who he was
  • Received lots of positive coverage from the media, but had one interview with Barstool Sports taken down after realizing they had donated to a fraudulent charity
  • Website claims that their mission is to “DO GOOD” and that they implement a 4 phase program, but most people claim they never received help and were used for photo ops
  • All of the treatment they “paid for” with donated money could be paid for with Medicaid and health insurance
  • Agreed to meet up with me in person to show me their books and prove they weren’t crooked, only to cancel last minute when they realized I would see through their scam




10. DCF Bukake Hooker Mom vs. 2. Quincy Queef Jerky

10. DCF Bukake Hooker Mom

  • When she was 16 years old she made the news as a missing child who had reportedly run away with a man she met online
  • Mother of three who had custody of none after abandoning baby daughter to pursue new career as online, plus sized hooker
  • Left her two older behind and moved to Indiana in 2018 where she got knocked up and had daugher in 2019.
  • Forced child to live with her gang-banging boyfriend in Indianapolis apartment in what can best be described as a tumultuous and dangerous environment based on pictures they shared on social media of him pointing a gun at the camera.
  • Boyfriend posted a video on Instagram of himself locked in the bathroom, trying to hide from a crying, swearing Samantha while baby was sleeping while this loud disturbance was happening
  • Boyfriend ended up getting murdered
  • She overdosed and daughter was put in foster care with her mother and sister
  • Drove cross country in UHaul with unrestrained baby
  • Stayed at friend’s house with baby but was thrown out after a week because she’s too ratchet
  • Moved back to Indianapolis to be online hooker, leaving baby behind
  • Daughter bonded for 3 years with her older brothers who she also abandoned
  • Blew off custody hearing allowing sister to have permanent legal guardianship
  • Decided to f*** with her daughter’s head some more by trying to regain custody in 2021 but was denied because she couldn’t provide basic needs
  • Offers 2 girl discount for $1,000 an hour, or $750 for 30 minutes
  • Allows guys who pay to have sex with her to leave creepy comments on Facebook pictures of her daughter
  • Due to money she was making as online hooker a horrible judge in New Hampshire known to get people killed granted her custody of daughter, ripping her from only world she knew
  • Daughter was eventually reunited after client she was banging pulled a gun on and robbed her as she recorded it all on video
  • Claims she never abandoned daughter and threatened to sue TB for deformation


2. Quincy Queef Jerky

  • Quincy mother who helped her daughter beat up a 12 year old girl by pulling the girl down by her hair and allowing her face to be stomped on
  • Filmed the entire thing, yelling “Get this bitch! You dumb white ho!”
  • Immediately had warrant put out for her arrest by Quincy PD
  • Also filmed her niece assaulting another white girl who didn’t hit back on a playground
  • Left victim’s mother voicemail shortly after her daughter was assaulted, calling her a “white cracker”, and threatening to pull up to her house and murder both her and her daughter
  • Sent victim’s mother text messages, mocking girl for being suicidal.
  • Previously charged in Roxbury and BMC Central with threatening to commit a crime, A&B with a dangerous weapon, assault, and skipping jury duty
  • Had to go to probate court to force daughter’s suspected baby daddy to submit a blood sample to see if his man chowder was the one fertilized her sperm sponge




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