Ratchet Madness 2021 Round 1: Mac Sauce Region


Fast fact – all the 14 seeds have beaten the 3 seeds so far this tournament. Also, MCG looks unstoppable.



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1. Road Rage Rollins

  • Comes from family of ratchets and hookers
  • Ran for District Attorney on a promise to not charge 15 crimes, including 9 that members of her family were charged with
  • Brother magically got out of jail shortly after she was elected
  • Illegally used blue lights during a road rage incident with a woman who she threatened to ticket before blowing through a red light on Christmas Eve
  • Began posting on Twitter, comparing the woman she terrorized to other white women who called the cops on people of color resulting in their deaths
  • Went on the Howie Carr Show with Turtleboy and made a fool of herself, while telling obvious lies about what happened
  • Threatened to arrest a Boston 25 News reporter on false charges for broadcasting from outside her house in Roxbury,  
  • Said it was OK to act like this as a black woman because of the Capitol riot
  • Called the victim’s police report the “rantings and ravings of a white woman”
  • Supports plans to defund the police and has frequently criticized white women for calling the police on black people for frivolous reasons, but was willing to waste the police’s time by filing a false police report because a reporter showed up at her house to ask her questions
  • Was friends with Monica Cannon-Grant before she realized she was politically inconvenient


16. Snatchbox 20

  • Posted about how she scams people every day, making $300-400 by panhandling and pretends to be homeless because SSI doesn’t pay her enough to do nothing
  • Insisted that she doesn’t do drugs even though she clearly is on drugs, “u dont got to do drugs 2 panhandle.
  • In order to work a corner in Medford near them you have to contact her first, even if you’re a junkie veteran who used to work those corners back in the day
  • Says she’s not racist just because black men are drawn to her like starving lions on a wildebeest with down syndrome
  • Often uses the n word on social media and posts insightful things like “Bitchez needa hop off my mans dick.”
  • Bragged about her and her new boyfriend driving in a UHaul truck stopping short so that they’d get rear-ended, and then jumping out of the truck to pepper spray the offenders
  • Drug addicted, gray haired boyfriend is a photographer who lies to her and tells her she’s going to be a model




8. Plymouth Pencil Dick

  • Videotaped by his girlfriend violently beating and terrorizing her at 5:30 AM
  • Chased her into the room, called her a retard and a fat f***, and then hit her with what appears to be a wallet, before hitting her four more times with his fist
  • Smashed in her door when she hid in her room, then blamed it all on her for making him mad
  • Killed himself a few weeks after blog came out


9. West Warwick Wang Stallion

  • Mother of 4 with custody of none
  • Records herself driving around with her friends while smoking blunts, taking jello shots, and singing along to sexually suggestive rap lyrics
  • Said she wants quarantine to end so she can perform oral sex on a stranger in the middle of a public street
  • Attempted to get her children’s childcare provider fired after assuming that a joke the woman made about the stimulus check was directed towards her
  • Makes declarations to rival ratchets on Facebook to let them know that they will not be able to fornicate with their baby daddy if she saw him first




4. Feta Cheese Freddie

  • Juiced up old dude who owns shady Manchester nightclub
  • Presents himself as a wealthy playboy on social media, and always has a haram of young, loose moraled women who look like they are perpetually celebrating their 21st birthdays
  • Owes tens of thousands of dollars in child support to multiple but always has fancy cars and clothing
  • Hired a cleaning service to clean his new townhouse but never ended up paying for the 5-6 hours job at the discount rate he was given
  • Publicly shamed by the woman he scrubbed his disgusting toilets and then showed up in the comments section claiming that the reason he couldn’t pay was because of COVID, even though this was a month before COVID began
  • Doesn’t have custody of any of his kids
  • Hired bootleg attorney to send us cease and desist letter threatening to sue
  • Commented dozens of times about how he needed money from the government in broken English, eliciting dozens of laughing emoji reactions
  • Claimed to be $650K in debt
  • Sells drugs out of his club and avoids jail by being an informant
  • Posted that Manchester Police killed his unarmed father in a ploy to get people to show up at his club for New Years


13. Grand Theft Mullatto

  • Arrested with 2 juveniles breaking into cars in Providence
  • Always keeps it 100 on Facebook by flashing gang signs, drug money, blunts, and using the n word as much as possible
  • Proves he’s the drug kingpin of Providence by posing on top of coin operated washing machines in the basement of project housing
  • Dad defended his honor while he was in jail, telling all the critics that his son would beat them up the moment he got out of jail and using the n word constantly
  • Dad has a million arrests including several for drug dealing and robbing a CVS at knifepoint
  • Mom came on Facebook to defend honor and remind all the haters that her son is not a pussy
  • Confronted by one of this victims who turned out to be nearly as ratchet as he was
  • Once he got out of jail he immediately took to Facebook and began threatening all of those who had wronged him during his brief incarceration




5. Friar Tummy Tuck

  • Got caught in sting and ended up being fired for stealing $4700 from grocery store where she was employed
  • Started a fundraiser because she had fallen on “financial and personal issues that caused her to fall on hard times.”
  • Except she was just on vacation the week before on Cape Cod with her chinstrapped fiance lifer staying in a spa, where rooms run you around $300 a night
  • Extended vacation there for over 2 weeks since she no longer had a job to get back to
  • Ran Facebook fundraiser scams raising money for cops, firefighters, and grocery store workers like herself
  • Has been scamming people for over a decade on Facebook
  • Fiance who just got out of jail put out a video today calling out all the haters on Facebook
  • Considers any chain restaurant a hot date
  • Has been engaged for 17 years


12. Netflix and Fentanyl

  • A month before Christmas posted in Falmouth Facebook group, asking them to provide a Christmas for her family so she could go on avoiding employment like the plague
  • Arrested while  driving around like a meth zombie, passing out behind the wheel of a moving vehicle, and taking out mailboxes
  • Three more drug and driving arrests in 2017
  • Forgot to mention that her son was 17 and also had no intention of getting a job
  • Turned down generous offers for presents and gift cards for son because she can’t buy drugs with that




3. Rhonda Rubbish

  • Collects welfare and is rewarded for making a series of irresponsible life choices by living off the government and never getting a job
  • Has 3 kids with violent felon currently in jail
  • Live in a 3rd world shack that villagers in Bolivia would cringe looking at
  • Backyard is no different than town dump, covered in tires, wood, nails, rusty chairs, trash cans, and other white trash lawn ornaments
  • Lives in a neighborhood full of sex offenders but allows her three sons to wander the neighborhood barefoot in their underpants
  • Kids are denied food and basic needs from their mother due to her alcohol and drug addiction
  • Facebook page shows you the deplorable conditions inside the house, which she apparently believes is normal considering she posted them for the world to see
  • Youngest boy never seems to have clothes on, sleeps on a soiled mattress with no sheets next to a windowsill covered in dirt, and occasionally passes out on the shag carpet
  • Had kids taken by DCF Fairy shortly after Turleboy blog



14. Stoneham Spunk Guzzlet

  • Made up lie about her kids’ presents being stolen from outside her Malden apartment just days before Christmas and shared it in several north shore Facebook groups
  • Did the same exact thing years before and was featured on Turtleboy and banned from several townie Facebook groups
  • Sells food stamps on Facebook
  • Once was arrested after she
  • Perpetually in “recovery”
  • Posted bizarre video of her and other junkie pole dancing on the MBTA




6. Papito

  • Raised the worst child on earth who ended up getting arrested for torching a Boston Police cruiser at the George Floyd riots
  • Attempted to smuggle her son out of the country to avoid charges but got busted at the airport
  • Arrested for beating her son with a shoe when he was 9 because he was “stubborn”
  • Posted anti-police stuff all over Facebook the day after her son torched the cop car
  • Posted video sexually harassing employee at Town Fair Tire
  • Posted Tik Toks of her dancing bizarrely with her out of control son
  • Came on the Turtleboy Live show and when asked what she did for work replied, “I suck deeeeek”


11. Brockton Cinderella Ginger Giznado

  • Left food stamp card in stolen vehicle and got called out for it on Brockton Hub
  • Said that she did nothing wrong, didn’t know the car was stolen, and just did drugs in it
  • Multiple arrests and warrants, usually for drugs and shoplifting
  • Won an award for “the right to feel really, really proud,” and displayed it on Facebook like it wasn’t a participation trophy
  • Lost at least 5 and possibly 6 children to DCF, but memorializes them with one of the worst tattoos you will ever see in your life
  • Frequently posts in the Brockton Hub about how addiction is a disease, so it’s not her fault she blows drug dealers in stolen cars




7. Momma Deep Throat

  • Mother from upstate New York who left her husband for his friend from jail
  • Forced her 5 year old son to call the violent offender “Daddy” within a few days of running away with him
  • When father of her child attempted to contact her she offered to live stream herself deep throating “the big D she always wanted” from the new Dad
  • New Dad had previously been to jail for assaulting a child
  • They pimped the 5 year old son out in chains and other gangsta clothing
  • Forced 5 year old son to leave voicemail for his father saying that he wanted to smack him



10. New Bedford Snatch Rocket

  • Has 4 children and custody of none of them
  • Videotaped herself handing one of her kid’s a gun so he could point it at his brother while a man got a tattoo in the background, and then posted the video to Snapchat
  • Baby Daddy Tyrell is currently incarcerated for abusing her and fighting her 19 year old son after a mishap at the Kings Inn
  • Posts glamour shots in the projects and videos of herself getting tatted up, but forgot to blur out the track marks
  • Posts inspiring ghetto quotes on Facebook, such as “Let that n word know that you don’t give a F what the other B can do for him AND you dont give a F what the next B is gonna do for him cuz them Bs could team up”




2. Fitchburg Incest Couple

  • Dude, he had sex with his Mom on the couch in his living room and his wife walked in. End of story


15. Franzia Felicia

  • Sandwich School Board member who got upset at a nurse who didn’t believe social distancing worked and messaged her, calling her a cunt, a “f***ing skank,” a “judge mental bitch,” and threatened to fight her
  • Got blacked out drunk before a School Committee meeting with an American flag in the background and passed out during the meeting, requiring her husband to turn off the camera and throw her in bed





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