Ratchet Madness 2022 Round 1: Biblow Region


Here are your 8 ratchets who have advanced to the second round of Turtleboy Ratchet Madness in the Guttermuppet region.

Not many close ones in that round, but it sets up some very interesting matchups for round 2.

Time to decide who will advance in the Biblow region now. 


1. Monica Cannon-Grant vs. 16. Tyngsboro Tequila Tornado

1. Monica Cannon-Grant

  • Charged with 18 counts in federal court relating to nonprofit fraud
  • Committed unemployment fraud, along with her husband, despite bringing in millions of dollars to fraudulent nonprofit
  • Spent hundreds of thousands of dollars earmarked for social services on Uber eats, nail salons, and vacations
  • Live streamed her house getting raided by the feds, used her newborn baby as a shield, and had her daughter’s phone confiscated as evidence
  • Vowed revenge on those who alerted the authorities about her grift
  • Fabricated a lie about Mikayla Miller being lynched by white teenagers, then organized a mob to invade the town of Hopkinton
  • Threated DA Marian Ryan, then went to the wrong place to protest her
  • Helped raise $60K for Mikayla Miller’s independent autopsy, lied about shipping her body out of state, then never reported any results
  • Made a video of herself shooting guns as a threat to anyone who questioned her


16. Tyngsboro Tequila Tornado

  • Got drunk during the afternoon and hit a pedestrian crossing a street in Dorchester
  • Got out of the car and was so wobbly she almost fell on the victim’s body before getting back in the car and crashing into a parked car a mile away
  • Attempted to flea the scene of second crash but car no longer worked
  • Ironically posted about the dangers of drinking and driving on Facebook





8. Springfield Ghetto Guppy vs. 9. Franklin Facial Frog

8. Springfield Ghetto Guppy

  • Found a wallet with $500 in it at the Big E and announced on Facebook that she would give it back to the owner but that she would be keeping the money
  • Runs unregistered eyelash business out of her apartment
  • Was surprised to receive blowback and posted on Facebook that critics should suck her clit
  • Chinstrapped drug dealing boyfriend defended her honor on Facebook
  • Other ratchets came out of the woodwork demanding she repay them money she owed them



9. Franklin Facial Frog

  • Caught on film at lemonade stand running scam where she pays with a $100 bill, gets back $60 in change, puts $20 in her pocket, then tells the cashier she only got $40 back
  • Post led to dozens of other victims coming forward as she targets young cashiers, too afraid to question customers, all across Massachusetts and Rhode Island
  • Multiple evictions
  • Charged in 2014 when the Rhode Island State Police did a two year investigation into over $800K in stolen money
  • Google trophies galore
  • Boyfriend has a plethora of judgments against him and criminal charges
  • Lied about being pregnant when her house mysteriously burned down in 2016 and the community rallied around her to raise money, even though she didn’t live in the district




4. Winchendon Crib Mom Nephew F***er vs. 13. North Smithfield Dump Cuck

4. Winchendon Crib Mom Nephew F***er

  • Had sex with her underage nephew
  • Has assault charges going back almost 10 years, on top of violations of orders, A&B on family members, and threats to commit crimes
  • Filmed herself violently throwing baby daughter into crib as revenge against baby daddy because he didn’t get her cigarettes
  • Credited herself with not slamming the baby harder and said her knee gave out
  • Called their baby a mistake and threatened to put them outside naked
  • Told baby daddy to abandon his child he had with previous girlfriend and skip her birthday party because “our kid (in utero) is better”
  • Threatened to abort the baby while 6 months pregnant if he didn’t
  • Threatened to chop off his dick because he had too many female friends on Facebook
  • Immediately lost custody of newborn baby and crib baby after giving birth
  • Assaulted boyfriend while he was driving and with their daughter in his arms, and told him that she refused to get a job because it was the man’s job to work
  • Blasted her sister for calling DCF on her
  • Used burner accounts to defend her own child abuse
  • Once threw a chair at an ex-boyfriend for not cooking her steak right
  • Assaulted an ex-boyfriend for not paying for her $300 hair extensions
  • Messaged random people and threatened to hit their kids too for judging her
  • Uses the n word freely when threatening people on the Internet
  • Sits outside of women’s homes when they like Facebook pictures of whatever guy she’s dating
  • Threatens to yell rape when men try to dump her
  • Charged in July with assault and battery, criminal harassment, and destruction of property.
  • Bragged about being a good mother on Facebook and vowed to get her kids back
  • After getting out of jail announced that “you can go to jail for so many little things it doesn’t make you a bad parent or bad person”
  • Came on the live show to defend crib abuse video and confront sister in law


13. North Smithfield Dump Cuck

  • Got drunk on 4th of July and lit an illegal mortar off his knee, which blew up and sent him to the hospital
  • Immediately started a GoFundMe for himself, even though TDI would’ve paid for 30 weeks of care, and the incident was entirely preventable and 100% his fault
  • Five days later his then fiance Sarah discovered a tracking device in her car that he had installed, found out that he had been stalking her every move since October, and had him charged
  • The victim became aware of the tracking device after he bragged about it to mutual friends while he was drunk, so she brought it to an auto body shop. Steven was sitting in his hospital room watching where her car was going (because he’s a psychopath), realized they would find the device, and called the shop up threatening to sue them if they searched the vehicle
  • Had over 90,000 inquiries as to where she had been, and even hid a camera in her home
  • has a collection of Google trophies from around Rhode Island for domestic violence, violating a no contact order, DUI, disorderly conduct, driving on a suspended license, simple assault, vandalism, embezzlement, and more
  • Was filmed getting out of his car to try to fight another driver in traffic
  • Broke fiance’s glasses and tore her necklace off during a domestic incident, then stole her car
  • Lives with his parents and his morbidly obese 10 year old son, whose undiagnosed mental health issues remain untreated
  • Has done nothing for his child despite threats to steal guns and shoot himself during school in front of other kids
  • Fiance reportedly has woken up to child in her bedroom watching her sleep, and his Tik Toks are disturbing
  • Has a daughter who he hasn’t cared for in years, and recently decided to be her Dad again, which he bragged about on Facebook
  • Cried on Facebook that the woman he stalked and abused left him because he blew up his leg
  • Cheated on first baby momma with their nanny Amanda Becker (Gagne), and impregnated her with the daughter he never sees
  • Created account called Jill Hunt and messaged the victim with a picture of him and another woman
  • Sister came on live show and hurled racial slurs at us
  • Despite vowing to bury his ex in court on the Live Show he took a plea deal in which he accepted conviction for domestic stalking




5. Fall River Drunk Driving Mom vs. 12. Athol Teenie Whisperer

5. Fall River Drunk Driving Mom

  • Was drunk driving when she sideswiped at least 2 cars, damaging both, and causing substantial damage to her front end which lost a tire
  • An unidentified woman she knew in another car urged her to drive away in order to avoid a DUI, but the car was not drivable
  • The woman who tried to convince her to do a hit and run said, “I’m outta here,” which the ratchet misheard as “f*** outta here,” so the ratchet challenged the woman trying to help her get away with a DUI to a fight while yelling racial slurs at her
  • The other woman drove away and she began picking a fight with the cameraman’s girlfriend and her grandmother, who had a baby with them
  • Attempted to attack the woman with the baby so the cameraman intervened, at which point he was assaulted and had the phone knocked out of his hands
  • Cameraman held her down to make sure she could not attack him or run away until the police arrived
  • Accused the the cameraman of being Turtleboy
  • Police and EMS arrived with a gurney, arrested her, and rolled her away while she continued to shout obscenities and racial slurs at anyone who would listen to her’
  • got knocked by flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hat guy who bounced
  • Named her kid TeeJay Jose
  • Did this right near her house where her 8 year old son was sleeping


12. Athol Teenie Whisperer

  • Orange court officer who got busted by a predator poacher last year trying to meet a 14 year old boy at Cumby’s, but got away with it on a technicality
  • A year later he got caught by the more infamous Predator Poacher Jay and this time he did explicitly agree to have sex with a 14 year old boy in writing
  • Said he likes to give deep throat to little boys and swallow load
  • Accused the guy pretending to be a 14 year old of not having an investigative license
  • Claimed he was going there to talk the 14 year old out of sex, despite telling them about how much he likes swallowing kiddie loads
  • Vowed to get the Poacher kicked off the Internet and threatened to sue




3. Shelburne Falls Incest Incels vs. 14. Pudge Judy

3. Shelburne Falls Incest Incels

  • Got drunk and went grocery shopping at Big Y in Greenfield with daughter
  • Left dog locked in hot car with windows up while they shopped
  • Confronted and tried to fight concerned citizens who filmed them
  • Threatened to call the cops on people they threatened
  • Boyfriend couldn’t stand without falling on hood of car
  • Boasted about success by bragging about having 20 chickens
  • Yelled racial slurs at people filming them and said, “I live here you dumb ho”
  • Threw a bottle of booze out the car window as they drove away with unrestrained toddler in backseat
  • Pictures later emerged of him pointing loaded gun at dog’s head


14. Pudge Judy

  • Single Mom and recovering drug addicts who made the news after she posted in a York Beach Facebook about needing a place to park her car for she and her daughter to sleep in because she can’t afford a hotel room and got tons of free gifts and hotel room offers
  • Had had zero intention of ever sleeping in her car and knew that using the kid as bait would yield results
  • Built up a following using her kid on Tik Tok and urged people to donate more money to her Cashapp
  • Can’t afford a hotel room and is a recovering addict she doesn’t mind broadcasting herself pounding down shots at the bar and smoking blunts at home
  • Posts videos of yourself gyrating on Tik Tok, and selling bootleg Donald Trump t-shirts
  • Had plenty of money to stay in a hotel room on the beach last August at York and in March when she stayed at the exact same hotel
  • Announced that she was going back to York for another free hotel room stay and was throwing her kid a beach birthday party and asking strangers to come by and give her presents
  • Lost support from guilted liberals when they found out she was a Q-Anon believer




6. New Bedford Knife Whalers vs. 11. Nashua Brady Bunch Crackhead

6. New Bedford Knife Whalers

  • Wwo crackheads who stabbed a woman 3 times their size in broad daylight on a busy street in New Bedford, and it was all caught on film
  • Blow J. Simpson had 7 kids and custody of none
  • Latest baby Daddy currently in jail due to the fact that he’s a gang banging drug dealer
  • Also found to be involved in another New Bedford stabbing the week before
  • Crack Pipe Patty dropped her drugs during the stabbing and came back to pick them up
  • Also a single Mom without custody who got knocked up by a guy with a flat brimmed 100 emoji hat



11. Nashua Brady Bunch Crackhead

  • Nashua Police arrested 9 people on warrants that looked exactly like a crackhead Brady Bunch would look
  • One showed up in the comments to defend her honor in some sort of junkie English dialect
  • Said that the drugs on her were all prescribed, except that they weren’t and she looks like your typical meth zombie
  • Said that she’s not a criminal just because she has warrants, because she wasn’t breaking the law when she was arrested
  • Had a recent felony arrest in Nashua after she caused almost $5K worth of damage to an Acura, and stole drugs from the car owner




7. Meriden Meat Mustang vs. 10. Senorita Stench Trench

7. Meriden Meat Mustang

  • Mom of special needs children who get neglected while she builds social media followings
  • Started Only Fans account where she films herself naked with children playing in foreground next to her
  • Asked Facebook roster to give her money so she can pay her bills until welfare check arrived, despite recently posting about new car she just bought
  • Claimed to have been struggling due to COVID but had no job prior to COVID
  • Pawned grandma’s jewelry for drug money
  • Claims to be asking for money by “putting my pride aside” but constantly begged for money before that
  • Not her fault because she procreated with deadbeats who had no intention whatsoever of sticking around or paying her a dime in child support
  • 6 months later she appeared on TB again when she met up with a guy who she thought was paying her $500 for sex, and she brought her 2 kids with her and they all slept in the hotel room together in order to save money on childcare
  • Made another video asking for $250 because she just moved into a nice beautiful apartment,” and “brought all brand new furniture, all new stuff,” and forgot to save money to buy her kids back to school supplies
  • Proudly bragged about being unemployed and living off disability
  • Her long term plans are to “go to back to school, open a business or do something,” and if that doesn’t work she “might do counseling or social work, adolescents with addiction” because she has a past with addiction (that may or may not have contributed to why she had a preemy baby)
  • Ironically called out all the “gold diggin stank ass females bousche ass wannabees,” and “dudes who act like they got it together when they don’t be who the f*** they really are”
  • Next day she was asking for $50 more dollars for school supplies (guess she forgot to buy them when she saw the fresh kicks at Foot Locker), while bemoaning how hard it was to promote her makeup line and get a job while also collecting social security
  • Offered to sell her food stamps if people didn’t want to donate
  • Started a GoFundMe entitled “at cape cod” for another free vacation
  • Sent us long winded sentagraph explaining how we deformed her
  • Four days after begging Jamal for $250 so she could get her children back to school supplies she filmed herself looking into her phone while driving her son home from a shopping trip, and showed off the brand new FILA shoes she just bought with the donated money


10. Senorita Stench Trench

  • Publicly shamed on New Bedford Guide after she was caught on a Ring camera abandoning her dog
  • Showed up on the page to announce that she was the ratchet and directed people to her IG account for the “real” story
  • Video showed her and her friend are walking the dog they abandoned towards the house where they were filmed to confront and presumably beat up the person who lives there
  • Justified abandoning dog because “I was late for work my Momma was like, leave the dog right there, I was like no b**** the f*** am I gonna do that s*** for? She was like leave em, I was like nope.
  • Said it wasn’t a big deal because, My dog is not f***ing stupid he knows how to walk his way home.
  • Complained that people in the USA like dogs too much: All these hoes Karens here, in Central America they run over a dog they don’t give a f***. But they come here and they like oh my God he knows his way home? He not meant to! I still have my doggie here, what the f***?
  • Was from Houston originally, where she says abandoning dogs is the norm
  • “There was this b**** who posted a video about me doing something I didn’t f***ing do, so basically right now we’re going to her home to beat her ass up, and this b**** in front of me is gonna record me.”




2. Framingham Feral Family vs. 15. Dorchester Boner Benefits Badger

2. Framingham Feral Family

  • Mother and her two teenage daughters followed elderly woman into Michael’s over perceived slight in parking lot
  • Assaulted said elderly woman at Michael’s, destroying her 20 year old picture that she was trying to get framed for a Christmas present for her daughter
  • Smacked the glasses off the woman’s face and wouldn’t allow her to pick them up
  • Mother’s youngest daughter was trauamatized and crying throughout incident
  • Named her daughters Brooklyn and Ireland
  • Mother was all over the news two years ago screaming about police brutality because the cops entered her home to arrest her pot dealing son Gineto (Gino) Callahan, who she called for backup at Michael’s
  • Media attempted to smear the police too, but that narrative was quickly debunked when it was revealed that they had a warrant and she attempted to prevent them from coming into the house as her son flushed the evidence
  • Used this opportunity to do what every ratchet does when they get caught doing something bad and want to blame it on the police – start a dindu nuffin GoFundMe


15. Dorchester Boner Benefits Badger

  • Part of a Facebook group called Moms Helping Moms Massachusetts, which is basically a breeding ground for guttermuppets around Christmas to share their sad stories and use guilt to scam other mothers out of their hard earned money
  • Said she had just lost her apartment “including everything I have” for unexplained reasons, and “little mans” (fatherless child) money is tight
  • Wants you to donate your kid’s toys to her kid, which is code for “give me money
  • In May she “couldn’t work due to COVID” and unemployment “wasn’t working with me right now,” which if true meant “I refuse to work and after collecting for a whole year they finally stopped giving me money I’m not entitled to”
  • Claimed her baby sister also just died and she has to go to the funeral, but later revealed that her sister died 4 years ago
  • In February the BBB needed money for “essentials” because she just had emergency surgery with the possibility of more surgery to come. No details about what that surgery was, but she lost her job because of it
  • In November of last year she wasn’t able to work due to COVID, and needed people to buy a teddy bear for “little mans” because she lost his
  • In September of 2020 BBB was a single Mom who ran out of furniture, wipes, and diapers due to COVID (I hate when COVID steals my couch), and needed strangers to pay for new clothes for him so he didn’t freeze to death in her Mattapan apartment because she didn’t foresee him growing out of his existing clothes
  • In August of 2020 she mentioned an unnamed “very close teen mom friend” who was about to give birth and forgot to get bottle, diapers, and wipes that human beings need to survive
  • In July her little mans found out he was only allergic to certain brands of diapers and wanted some Huggies until she got some more money
  • In April of 2020 she was in a shelter and needed clothes, a stroller, and a bouncy set for the newborn little mans, because the shelter she was living in for free was only giving her a crib, along with free room and board
  • Started raising funds for an unnamed friend who just died and left behind a 10 month old baby, who could only survive if her dead mother’s homeless friend raised money from strangers on Facebook, which turned out to be a scam
  • Lashed out when she got called out for never offering, but always asking for things in the group




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